Perfectionism Almost Broke Me, Until….
Hi all! This week I’m sharing about a topic that is near and dear…A topic that I feel many people struggle with and may be a BIG part of what keeps us stuck. I’m talking about Perfectionism.
When I say ‘stuck’ I mean not progressing. Still dealing with the same issues, same wants that go unmet, same goals that fall to the wayside.
As a personal trainer and wellness coach I teach people how and what to eat, how to move their bodies etc., but the really important work comes in teaching others how to identify the self-sabotage like belief systems, thoughts and that sneaky inner critic and then find ways to choose differently than they have in the past so they can achieve their goals, whatever they may be.
Why does this matter, and how can approaching cyclical patterns this way be beneficial?
Because we can’t experience something new without doing something new.
So, what would an example of a cyclical pattern be that would be beneficial to identify and be brave enough to do something differently? Let’s look at a few of my personal ones…
- I have to eat perfectly, look perfect, speak perfectly and everyone has to like me in order for me to feel accepted, loved and worthy.
- I don’t know enough to position myself as an expert, increase my fees or ask for business.
- I’m too broken to ever be worthy of a healthy, happy relationship. No one I like would actually love with me.
Wow, writing this, even though I am well aware of the patterns that kept me stuck for years, writing this was tough…Reading this was tough! It’s tough because I know it all to not be true now and I’m sad for my past self who struggled for so long with perfectionism and self-doubt.
What I did to overcome just these few belief systems I operated from was multi-factorial. There is no one way of approaching the mind and emotional health to yield positive results. We must follow our intuition about books, blogs, coaches, therapists and people who we feel may help us learn new ways of forgiving ourselves and behaving in a more self-loving, self-compassionate and useful manner. We must never give up until we arrive.
What I tell everyone who asks me what I’ve done to heal my emotional and physical body and find peace in my heart and life is the same:
“Just put one foot in front of the other. Never stop being curious of your pain, your symptoms and trust that you will get there as long as you keep investigating.”
Until one day you realize something has changed. You’re calmer, more grounded, less anxious and happier. You’re doing it!
The road to finding peace and being accountable to what your higher self wants is available to everyone. Regular workouts, the 80/20 rule to eating healthy vs indulging, practicing self-love and self-forgiveness on a regular basis, these are all available to us, we just have to be vulnerable enough (and brave enough) to ask for help. To trust that the efforts we’re putting in will lead to something better and take that first step (and every step thereafter).
Want to hear more about my personal struggle with Perfectionism, and what I did to learn how to manage it? Check out my vid and leave a comment if you wish – to share about your experience and perspective with feeling stuck, feeling emotionally unwell or not able to shift gears and BE the person you long to be.
We are all in this together – no one is void of struggle.
In good health + happiness